Butterflies in my stomach… high in the Redwood trees

I could feel it coming on again. I was about to speak over 200 people about living their Best Life Ever and my heart was racing and I had butterflies in my stomach.  I was well prepared and I love the materials. So why I am having this visceral reaction? Why am I feeling under-confident?

My Lightbulb moment happened when I realized that the confident skills I have used in creating the materials and in other parts of my life can be used in delivering the fabulous materials. Let me explain…

I am a visual person – just as I visualized how the speech would be designed, I also visualized presenting the materials and creating positive energy in the crowd – from stepping onto the stage right through to the thank you.

Also, I shifted my perspective to one of ‘Cease the moment!’  I used this positive affirmation to keep me focused on this excellent opportunity to fulfill my life purpose - to inspire and guide others to live their best life ever.

Then I really listened to my body and realized that what I was experiencing was in fact an adrenaline rush. I used that fabulous energy to deliver my positive message!

Not long ago I stood 40 feet high in a California Redwood tree with the same butterflies in my stomach and I chose to leap into a world of greater possibilities and challenges. Here was my chance to use that confidence in my day to day life - so I went for it!

Having said that, I would love for you to say 'Yes' to enriching your life too!

All the best,
Eva-Marie

P.S. Check out our new Offering – The Best Life Ever Workshop Series!

I Dare You!

What are you really good at? What are you really bad at?

Chances are the answers to those questions will vary depending on whether I ask you or if I ask someone who knows you well. The old adage that we are all our own worst critic is true, though we seldom analyze the criticism that stops us dead in our tracks. Last Life Club we learned about the key steps to decision making and problem solving. Now we’re ready to develop the confidence required to make our desired changes.

Whether the skill you’re working on is learning to eat with chopsticks, cooking a six-course meal, or you’re a parent trying to be the best parent that you can be, you have to invest time and energy to be successful. Confidence is often overlooked as belonging to a skill set, which keeps a lot of us in the dark.

You are invited to join Life Clubs Canada this week as we explore confidence not as a quality you were either born with or without, but as a learnable skill, and as we dare each other to step out of the safety of being under-confident. It’s time to focus all those negative appraisals into a positive outcome, translating self-perceived weaknesses into lightbulb moments. To start your own personal revolution, click here. We’ve got some dares in store for you.

For a terrific confidence boost to your parenting, join us Tuesdays for our Positive Parent-Teen Relationships workshops - details at www.gemlifecoaching.com.  This offering is perfect for parents of pre-teens and teens who want to create a language and a solid foundation for parenting your children through this time of big changes and often challenges. I am offering a way to become pro-active in these years instead of re-active. The camaraderie and support within the group is a wonderful bonus. We start this week - Feb 22, 2011 at 7 pm.

Have a wonderful Family Day Weekend!

Eva-Marie

Giant Chocolate Chip Heart Shaped Cookies…

Happy Valentine's Day to Everyone!


Love is all around us today and every day. The gift is in taking the time to notice love and to bask its warmth and energy.

Love comes in so many forms and variations. I love when people speak of loving 'us' - the relationship they have created. I love when I can witness the utter joy when someone realizes that they genuinely love themselves.

My family, gathered around the dinner table, were sharing what we love and who we love. Given that there are 9 of us Moffats, the range of 'loves' was vast and incredibly interesting. Our newlyweds inspired Gord and I to reflect on how loving our 29 year life journey together has been. Our first Valentine's Day was spent at Queen's University at the annual Sleigh Ride to Wolfe Island.


One Valentine's tradition that has lasted from that day is the 'giant chocolate chip heart shaped cookie' that I made for Gord. It is still a favourite annual tradition - although there are 8 to make now!

So once again, in the wee hours of the night, 'Cupid' busily baked for each of her family members a 'giant chocolate chip heart shaped cookie'.

It is the simple pleasures that often most effectively express our love for one another.

What are the loves of your life?

Eva-Marie

www.lifeclubs.ca

It's great to have options!

Wow! What a week it has been.

I have been wrestling with a problem that has been lingering just a bit too long. It started as a 'crack' in my roadway and now it was becoming a wide crevice.

I needed to take a new approach to solving it.

I put down my usual tools and used the LIFE Model from Life Clubs. Before I knew it ...I had moved from the habitual jumping into 'solutions' mode ... to the energizing zone of brainstorming options. The ideas just kept flooding in. It was great to get the creative juices flowing!

What was once seems like a monkey on my back is now a source of energy and excitement.

Come along to Life Clubs and you too can learn the Key Steps to Problem solving!

Eva-Marie

Creating Space

How many times have you gone against your intuition, only to end up being right? What's getting in the way of your instincts? Why do we keep clutter?

Many of us hold on to people, objects and thoughts that work against our goals. What is it about the past, or the need to make decisions, that holds us hostage?

Sometimes the clutter we keep stops us from moving forward with an important decision or lifestyle change. The simple act of accounting for the excess matter can make us all a little more self-aware, and that awareness will help us move on with our lives. There is something incredibly liberating about letting things go, no matter the size or its history in our lives.


This week at Life Clubs instead of exploring the nooks and crannies of our minds, we will examine the big piles of clutter occupying the centre of our thoughts, with an end goal of creating space in our lives.

To learn to rely on your gut instinct, click here. You're just one purge away from clearer thinking.

Making Relationships Work

What is the recipe for a good relationship?

Whether we are talking about lovers, friends, family or work relationships, there are certain elements that are necessary to keep things pleasant.

1 spoonful of understanding
1 spoonful of commitment
1 spoonful of love
1 spoonful of friendship
1 spoonful of boundaries

Decorate with compassion and an airy sense of humour.


Would you make any additions, substitutions or changes to this recipe?



You are invited to join Life Clubs Canada this week as we explore the personal and social aspects of being in a variety of relationships. It's time to examine our emotional environments, and to figure out why we sometimes treat strangers with greater courtesy than our loved ones.


To find energy in your relationships, click here.

I Dare You…

What are you really good at? What are you really bad at?

Chances are the answers to those questions will vary depending on whether I ask you or if I ask someone who knows you well. The old adage that we are all our own worst critic is true, though we seldom analyze the criticism that stops us dead in our tracks. Last week we learned about friendships. Now we’re ready to develop the confidence required to make desired changes.

Whether the skill you’re working on is tying a shoelace, cooking a six-course meal, or you’re a professional athlete crusading for a World Cup title, you have to invest time and energy to be successful. Confidence is often overlooked as belonging to a skill set, which keeps a lot of us in the dark.

You are invited to join Life Clubs Canada this week as we explore confidence not as a quality you were either born with or without, but as a learnable skill, and as we dare each other to step out of the safety of being under-confident. It’s time to focus all those negative appraisals into a positive outcome, translating self-perceived weaknesses into lightbulb moments.

To start your own personal revolution, click here. We’ve got some dares in store for you.

Do you know what your values are?

I don't very often get my own Lightbulb Moments when I'm hosting a club, but I did on Wednesday (which was very exciting!)

We were taking it in turns to read through a list of values to see which ones could be ours. I know cleanliness is one of mine... and honesty... and courage... but when we got to the word 'responsibility', that's when the penny dropped.

My home is very messy. I am messy, my husband is messy and all four of my children are phenomenally messy. A typical morning goes like this ... 'Where's my homework diary?'... 'Where's my bus pass?'... 'Where are my trainers?' and on and on and because I'm messy I don't know either.

So I started to think about that word 'responsibility' and what it means.

I know I am absolutely trustworthy. I am one hundred per cent dependable. I am really reliable, but I'm not good at duty or taking on 'roles', such as that of 'tidy mother'.

What's happened, I suddenly realised, is that because I'm not responsible, I haven't passed on 'responsibility' to my children and this is the outcome... chaos.

Gosh, values are helpful. As my diary for Wednesday said 'You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself'. Maybe I've finally grown up. Let's see how responsible I now become.

What do your values tell you?

All my best wishes for a lovely long weekend (if you're in the UK),
Nina
PS You've been wonderful about voting for us in the Barclays competition - do carry on... click here.
PPS Come along to our final day workshop - in Central London on 12th June. It's a Life Clubs Intensive in aid of Marie Curie charity and it's all about you and your wellbeing. The other two were brilliant, I'm sure this one will be too. See you there.

You don't have to get drunk in order to succeed... or do you?

This week's Life Clubs workshop was all about success. I haven't chosen this picture because of David Cameron's success, or even Nick Clegg's for that matter, but keep reading and you'll find out why.

Success is one of those bizarre words (or maybe all words are like this... green, happy, tyre?) that means different things to different people. But one thing most of us seem quite clear about is that you don't really understand success until you've experienced failure.

What's wonderful is that they're often linked.

I remember I used to get really despondent when I failed at something. I felt depressed, beat myself up and generally got into a funk. It took a friend of mine to turn it all around and ask me what I was learning from each failure to get me to see things differently.

Now I relish failure because I can see it as such a helpful learning for what not to do next time. We had a party on Wednesday for members of the HR community and I was running up and down the stairs for more coffee - learning: get a thermos - and on and on it goes.

So, back to the picture. It's all about my son who, in his teens, went out drinking one night and dropped off to sleep on the last bus home. It was a long walk back contemplating his failure, but as he got to Lambeth Bridge and looked at the sun rise over the river (we live near the Houses of Parliament), he thought how beautiful London was and how lucky he was to live here. He found the success in the failure.

Enjoy finding your success. And, I hope you enjoy this Monet. Oh the success to be able to paint like that.

All best,
Nina
PS Our relationships workshop was a wow!!! If you'd like to come to the last workshop in this series - in aid of Marie Curie charity - do let us know now. It's all about YOU and fast booking up.

Screw your way to happiness

I didn't mean to be so provocative, but I was having a great conversation today about happiness (our workshop of the week) and the title just popped into my head.

In our conversation we were talking about how it was little things that make you happy and I was remembering how my 11-year old had just bought the Dr Who Sonic Screwdriver he'd been saving up for.

Of course, he brought it home for someone to help him put the batteries in. They were, needless to say, in the most awkward of positions and we managed to break the battery holder whilst doing it. But the problem was finding the right size screwdriver to undo the screws.

We searched the house high and low and then, there, in (of course) the tool chest, was the tiniest little screwdriver - just the one we wanted.

Happiness was finding that screwdriver.

The person I was telling my story to, replied wisely and said 'Isn't solving a problem what makes you happy?'

So, I'm going to leave you with that thought. What would you say made you happy?

Maybe it's that provocative screw we mentioned before.

All best wishes for a lovely weekend. I'm running a workshop on relationships on Sunday and meeting prospective Hosts on Saturday. What could be better?

If you want to come to the workshop, get in touch (nina@lifeclubs.co.uk).
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Election Fever making an Ass (of) u (and) me

This week's workshop was all about assumptions and, yes, I assumed the British electorate would vote differently from how they did. I'm now assuming that it was a knee-jerk 'Let's get Labour out' that caused the swing to Tory, rather than to Nick Clegg, who somewhat stole my heart.

Of course I also stayed up too late when I really could have gone to bed because nothing happened last night except a few (rightly) disgruntled wannabe voters were having problems voting. I assumed by 1.00 I'd really have a good idea what was going on, but when I went to bed the assumptions were that it was going to be an overwhelming majority for the Tories, whereas instead... how the potential mighty fell in a few hours.

Politics is all about assumptions, but so are our lives. We assume so much about who we are and what we can and can't do and how our lives will pan out. I assume I'm not going to understand what exactly a hung parliament is going to mean for us. I assume I'm bad at understanding what the different political issues of the election really are. I assume I don't know what the effects of a double-dip recession will be for us. And all those assumptions stop me even trying to understand. I leave it to 'others'.

Thinking positively, I'm going to assume you'd like to know about our workshop on relationships. It's on Sunday 16th May in Westminster, Central London. It costs £75 (almost all money to Marie Curie as Lynne and I are giving our time for free) and is for anyone who wants to either get on better with their partner or find a loving relationship. Do come along - it'll be great.

And now, let's assume that we'll all have a wonderful day and that David Cameron will stand up, dust himself off and get it together.

See you soon,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs and author The Big Book of Me and The Life Book
PS Photos taken this morning!

What's your drawing say about you?

This week I've been feeling like a little mole under a huge pile of leaves.

Totally overwhelmed with 'stuff' and no time to sort it out.

My wonderful five extra days of holiday in Madrid have taken five days out of my day-to-day life and I just haven't had time to catch up with those missed days. It's a peculiar and slightly bewildering feeling. Maybe the little mole wants to hide away.

If I think about what I'd like to feel like, it's more like these beautiful, calm leaves. I don't have to be handmade or embroidered, but I'd like all my leaves flat and pressed and in nice labelled piles so I'd know what they all are: invoices, ideas, articles etc etc.

This week's workshop was all about how metaphors make it so easy to solve your problems.

Now all I have to think... how am I going to get from that pile to those nice, flat leaves in the quickest amount of time?

I know. I'm going to ask for help!

What do your pictures look like?
Hope you have a lovely long weekend,
Nina
PS Our Workshop on Work was FAB. Look at the pictures and join us for our next Workshop on Relationships. Anyone can come - in a couple, single, problems with colleagues, children etc etc. It's on Sunday 16th May in Westminster, Central London.

Getting it together...

Whenever I see people poring over their time management matrixes I either panic and instantly feel disorganised or I get overwhelming feelings of jealousy and wish I was as organised as them (or, more likely, I get both feelings simultaneously).

I'd love to be organised and, up to a point, am, but something always lets me down at the last minute. I can tidy up the bathroom cupboard and make wonderful shoe boxes entitled 'tummy', 'colds', 'skin' - you get the idea - but somehow I always end up with three things that just haven't got a home. There's definitely something about finishing a task that I don't like - there's always that bit of spillage afterwards.

So this week at Life Clubs we worked on organisation and how to have three goals a day you're going to do. It's a simple technique and enormously useful and all it takes it you knowing what your day is going to consist of (or what you want it to consist of) and making those three things your goals - let's face it... you'll always find time to check your emails.

Yesterday, my three goals were to get home from Spain intact, to run my club and to spend a bit of quality time with each member of my family as I hadn't seem them for 10 days. I think I more or less got there.

Today my three goals are to move my team at Basecamp forward (haven't seem them for 3 weeks!), to let you all know about my wonderful workshop on Saturday (all about 'Work' and all profits from the workshop go to Marie Curie charity) and to have a nice lunch with a mum I used to know who has just started working round the corner at Burberry.

What kind of a lovely day is that?

What are your three goals of the day?

See you soon,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs

Following can be good

This week's workshop was about body language and, as I was talking to one of my heroes, my 11-year old son, I asked him what he thought would be a good illustration.

Now Tommy has a few crazes at the moment. Those of you who have been following my blog, already know about Dr Who (though who in the UK at the moment isn't an addict?) and Bionicles (those weird Lego robots), but the one you may not yet have heard about is Men In Black. Yesterday he watched Men In Black 2 and so he filled me in on the latest:

'Mum, in Men In Black, they meet these aliens and in order to befriend them, they start dancing the way the aliens dance.'

How good is that for an example?

I had a similar experience when I was in Tobago on holiday many, many years ago. It is a stunning country, but walking the streets and smiling at people, saying 'Hello', I felt a bit of hostility. No-one smiled back.

After a while, I decided to do what anyone else would have done and stop smiling and start observing. It was then I noticed that when one Tobagonian met another, they didn't smile, but instead lifted their hand up slightly from their thigh to say 'Hello'.

Like Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, I decided to copy the body language of the people I wanted to be friendly with. Each time I met someone, I casually raised my hand a little from where it was hanging relaxed.

Oh Yes! Suddenly I belonged.

All I can say is... it was a great workshop and I had a great holiday.

What experiences do you have of using your body language to fit in? Just let us know.

I hope you have a great week.
See you at Life Clubs,
Nina
PS Our Work workshop is filling up with lovely people. It's in Westminster on Saturday 24th April and Lynne (my fabulous HR) and I are giving of our time to raise money for Marie Curie. It's £75 and it's for anyone who is working too hard or not working hard enough or not enjoying their job or not sure what they want from a career. It's going to be fab. Five Life Club workshops in one day ... intense! Book now.

Blow your own trumpet

My mother always used to say that those who show-off get more out of life. I'm not sure that that's a general rule, but it pretty much is.

Yes, I know we're all brought up to be modest and self-effacing, but where does it get us?

My fear has been around setting up my own website. 'I don't need a website' I've been saying to myself. 'It's not about me, it's about Life Clubs'. But, the other day, Genevieve, my wonderful right-hand, googled me and told me straight that the link between Nina Grunfeld and Life Clubs is tenuous and I have to have my own website in order that anyone who reads about Nina Grunfeld in the papers can be directed to Life Clubs.

In my mind there was my mum and there was Genevieve, but in my heart I felt fearful. What was I going to put about myself? How was I going to show off about myself? Do I say that I'm the best or do I make a bit of an apology about having a website?

This week's workshop was about fear (and very appropriately timed it was too). Before I started writing my website I imagined myself to be that show-off and feeling both delighted and successful. And then I wrote.

The wonderful result has just gone to my great designer (David Eldridge, who created the Life Clubs website and all my books to date) and will from there go to my lovely web man who will make it all real.

So, watch this space.

And, whenever you're feeling fearful, just imagine how delighted you'll feel having done it what you're dreading doing, and do it. Or, think of my mum and go for it.

Besides... what's the worst thing that can happen?

All best wishes,
Nina
PS Do come to my day workshop on Work. It's for anyone who wants more from their work. It's on Saturday 24th April, from 10-5, in Westminster, Central London, costs £75 and is in aid of Marie Curie. Both Lynne and I who are running it are giving our time for free.

How do you solve a problem like..?

Last week we were problem solving at Life Clubs. We use a wonderful 'mnemonic' called (needless to say) LIFE and, when you've worked through it you've solved your problem.

Possibly the most powerful question to ask is 'When did I succeed in solving this sort of problem before?' because it comes up with all sorts of positive answers and can make you realise that maybe you're trying to solve a problem that isn't the one you really want to solve.

One of my clubbers wanted to be able to meet someone - if you like - be ready for a relationship. And, as she came to that question she had her Lightbulb Moment that really she wasn't ready for anyone, because the previous times she'd met new people and started a relationship, she'd been feeling really good about herself and deeply creative and happy - and she wasn't now.

What a great new problem to solve... how to get creative. This week she's signing up for all sorts of creative courses and I can't see how anyone she meets could fail to fall in love with her.

My problem is often thinking about what to write. I love writing once I settle down to it, but what to say..? When I asked myself that powerful question I realised that ideas always came to me when I relaxed. So... check me out on the sofa in my pyjamas!

Let me know what problem you've got to solve and if that question helps.

Happy Easter to everyone. Next problem... where will the Easter bunny hide his eggs if it's raining?

What a lovely problem to have.

All best wishes,
Nina
If you'd like to know more about problem solving - or anything else that goes on at Life Clubs, do sign up for our bulletin.

What's Your Best Life Ever?

So often we moan about our life - and why not? Of course, things can be happier, or more fulfilling, or calmer or more rewarding or even more three-dimensional.

But isn't the best time just lying down under a beautiful sky, listening to the birds, feeling the sun on your body and smelling the grass or the sea. When you're in the moment?

I started writing this week's Best Life Ever workshop when I sadly wasn't lying down under the blue sky, but sitting at my desk and confronted with a jar of broken biros. Each pen I pulled out to write something with was broken and had to be thrown away. Grrr I thought. In my best life I'd have a jar full of pens that worked.

That thought surprised me. What a simple request. How easy to fix is that?

Keep aware of your life. Notice when little things annoy you and sort them. I'm not suggesting that the underlying sadnesses most of us have - such as abandonment, betrayal, jealousy, lack of confidence etc etc - are that easy to fix, but if the lid is on the toothpaste and there's a clean cup in the cupboard for our tea and there's a pen that works, we're pretty darn close to having an ideal life.

Now I'm grateful for every pen that works. And, this weekend, I'm going to find some sun to lie in.

If you're lying down and looking at blue skies, do you want to moan?

Hope you have a wonderful weekend,
Nina
If you'd like to get know more about your best life, sign up for our bulletin

Sleepy

Oh, I both wish I could look like her and I wish I could be doing what she's doing.

This week we used stories at Life Clubs to move ourselves forward. I've had a very busy week - both during the day and at night (exciting). I love going out and ... although I was shattered ... my daughter and I danced the night away last night, so today I'm truly exhausted.

I know, it's Friday and I've got the weekend ahead of me, only I haven't. A lovely friend of mine (who looks more like the pre-Raphaelite lady in the picture than I do) has booked us both in for a course this weekend. I'm sure I shall really enjoy it because I love courses, but it's an 8.15-6.00 course on both Saturday and Sunday and right now I feel all I want to do is spend the weekend in bed.

As a story, that might be a little bit like the red shoes ballet. I feel I'm wearing these red shoes that won't let me stop... not even for a moment.

As a story, how could that end?
...I could cut the shoes off - or maybe even my feet (if I had to)
...I could tie myself down so I couldn't move
...I could blindfold myself so I didn't feel so dizzy
...I could wake up as if I was in a bad dream

Any other ideas... please let me know.

How can that translate into reality?
...Cutting my shoes off could mean that I felt so ill this weekend I couldn't go anyway
...Tying myself down could be going to bed today as soon as my last meeting is over
...Blindfolding myself could mean wearing dark glasses today to protect my tired eyes
...Waking up might mean saying 'No' to the weekend

I think I'll go with tying myself down!!!

Stories are great to help you detach from the problem you have. They give you another perspective on your life.

Have a go and let me know.

Hope you all have a great weekend - are you on a course too?
All best,
Nina
PS Book in to Life Clubs weekend courses - they'll be fab.

Why sports?

This week's Life Clubs was all about writing headlines in which you star. I scoured the newspapers from top to toe to find examples of the kind of headlines I hoped clubbers would write, but there was nothing there. Doom and gloom was all I could find.

I decided to look in the sports pages - not my natural habitat - and there, thankfully, I found just what I wanted.

Henman the man as LTA sifts the rubble of Vilnius
Nasri spectacular and Bendtner hat-trick sweep poor Porto aside

Gosh. How would that make you feel to have those headlines?

(Put your name here) the man/woman...
(Put your name here) spectacular...
(Put your name here) hat-trick...

Excited...? Successful...? A star...?

But why wait til you play professional football? You can do it now.

Create the headline you want.

As one of my clubbers wrote. (Put your name here) writes her way into a new career...

Just go for it. Let me know the headline you came up with.
See you this week,
Nina
Founder Life Clubs, author of The Big Book of Me and The Life Book

Lucky is saying 'Yes'

I was so lucky. At my Life Club this week was one of my favourite mentors, Jane, who just turned 80 this year.

The workshop was about saying 'No'. How could we create the balance we wanted in our lives by saying 'No' to things we didn't want to do and therefore have time to do the things we wanted to do.

Jane has now got to the stage that she felt she didn't want to think about saying 'No', she wanted to discover how to say 'Yes' to the things she hasn't yet got round (or dare I say 'dared') to doing.

But saying 'Yes' sometimes just means having worked out what to say 'No' to. For example, saying 'Yes' to having a great year this year, means saying 'No' to doubt, fear, procrastination and anything else that's stopping you having that 'Yes' year.

I'm going to say 'Yes' to continuing to think I'm lucky. And I'm going to say 'No' to worrying that things may go 'wrong'. After all, what is 'wrong' but a time to take stock of what's just happened and learn from it?

I'm lucky that you're ready this and, if you're not, then what can I learn from that?

Please let me know.

Hope you have a great weekend.
I'm at The Grove Hotel... do come and join me there another weekend.
Nina
Best-selling author (I've just been told by my publisher) of The Life Book